You want to do what with Harriet?

I was sitting at my desk at work yesterday wondering how Ken Starr would have handled the Valerie Plame investigation when my musings took me to Harriet Miers. You know Harriet, the bestest White House council ever! And I began to think, just how stupid was it to nominate someone for the Supreme Court who has no judicial experience and has never written a word on constitutional law.
Does that mean that I can put my name in for GM of the Dodgers? I saw a couple of games this year and figured I knew a thing or two about what wins games. What I really wanted to know was how stupid is GWB and the people around him. They started a war without any plan for what would happen when they were done, they’ve made billions in dollars of tax cuts that have wiped out the largest budget surplus since the turn of the 20th century, and well, he just sounds stupid.
Yet you don’t get the guy voted the Class of ‘69’s “Most Likely to Puke on His Own Shoes” elected president without a really savvy political machine that knows that every decision influences a great many things. And when I thought about that and I remembered that BelzeRove lives somewhere in the dark basement of the White House it dawned on me. They did that on purpose. They have a plan.
Picking up my calendar there it was, right after 2005. 2006! The very important elections where the Democrats plan on charging up the hill and taking Congress back from the Great Right Wing Conspiracy. And isn’t the GRWC a great big fractured, sniping at itself about the war and the economy and everything else conservative, conservative movement. Everything was falling apart as happens when one group is in power for awhile.
So I thought, was Harriet throwing herself to the lions because she’s stupid? Was she committing hari-kari because GWB is the coolest, neatest, most boss president ever? I don’t think so. I think BelzeRove had a plan and it went like this.
First was the conservative loyalty test. Let’s just do a quick role call and see who’s on board. Sen. Cornyn from Texas, yep. Arlen Spector, not so yep. Chuck Dobson, for sure, most every other conservative, well, we have a problem. I think they used Harriet to ferret out the non-believers and get the vengeance machine ready to shoot them full of holes. There are a lot of black, unwed mothers out there who’s children could have been fathered by any of those Republican Senators.
I think the Numero Uno Reason was that they put her out there to take one for the whole team, the whole conservative movement. This is a group of people who if nothing else loves to get motivated over a cause, especially one that makes them angry. I mean they are already really angry, and spiteful and hateful, but when someone throws some cooking oil on that fat pig of hate it can blow up like a German zeppelin. And wouldn’t it just be like those crazy manipulators of people’s lives to do just that.
Wouldn’t it be crazy to take GWB’s good friend and bestest buddy Harriet and toss her out there and use it to bring the movement back together in preparation for the next very important election. Who else would take it without a whimper?
Certainly if there’s one thing that all conservatives can agree on is that there just isn’t enough conservativism in this country. As long as a liberal breathes, there is the chance we could all burn in hell.
So bring them together in that common cause. Give them Harriet Miers in a time of crisis and unite them before the election year starts. See how much more work we have to do? See how far from our real goals we are? Let’s forget about this long summer of our discontent. This Supreme Court thing needs our immediate attention and we will give it just that. Onward Christian Soldiers!
I know most would say the Harriet was just the blunder of a stupid, arrogant administration that thinks it can do whatever it wants. People do make mistakes, whether they take responsibility for them or not. But saying that would mean that anyone in the White House is human, and we know that’s as far from the truth as anything that has come out of GWB’s mouth in six years.